Sunday, April 17, 2005

So where have I been?????

So, where have I been? What makes you think that I am back? I'm still wandering around looking for me. But even if I don't find me, come May 13th, I will be on the Carnival Legend in NY leaving on a cruise! ! Yes, people, it is that close and I can't wait for a well needed vacation. It's been about 2 years since I last went on a cruise and a lot has happened in that time. I need some "me" time and chill out time and let's not forget the PARTY time! My daughter reminds me constantly that I owe her big time for her 18th b-day since it takes place while I'm on the cruise. This is the same child who gets nothing from either household and is so deprived we should be reported (year right!). When you are all done laughing, you can continue.
I went out shopping for clothes yesterday for work/cruise and talk about being depressed. I did find some pants and tops but I was so frustrated. I told my daughter when she was going to try on a couple of dresses that if she didn't hurry up, I was going to lose it right there in the store. Well, I survived the shopping trip and until someone figures out how to make me lose weight fast, I don't want to shop for clothes again! Ever!
For those of you who don't know, I quit smoking in Feb. It was a little tough and I still crave them once in a while but I'm over the worst of it.
Also, about 3 weeks ago, I went back on Seroquel because I was anything but stable. I couldn't stand being with myself, never mind the fact that Robert didn't know how to handle my mood swings. I spent weeks getting stressed and overwhelmed before I decided the best thing to do was go back on the med.
Things have leveled out and I'm trying to stay on top of things so I don't get stressed out. There are some anger issues showing back up that I thought I had dealt with and put to bed. Now, to figure out how to get what I need (once I figure out what that is) and try to put this anger to rest again. We think it's because Becky will be taking another big step in her life soon and once again things are being done so much different for her then they were for me. Yadda Yadda Yadda...
I hate those things that run in cycles and in the words of a therapist (and not Pam), especially when you don't have control over it.
So, in between keeping my anger in check, getting things ready to pack, working, I need to call and set up an appt. for an in-take for a psycho-educational group at UConn in Farmington. It is a 12 week program and starts in the beginning of May.
It is different than other groups I've been too - this is mainly educational, they really aren't looking for people to share their own stuff.
Okay...so that's what's been happening in my life.........