Delima

First a quick update on what is happening with my sister - nothing! How's that for quick? I called my lawyer this morning and they haven't heard anything since last week. He is also reading between the lines and figures that they must be going ahead and getting the loan. It would be nice to know where it all stands but as my lawyer reminded me - they seem to be working on their own time table. Of course I always have the option of taking the bitch to course but we've come this far and it just doesn't make sense to do that.

Any way I knew when my father called a couple of weeks ago to tell me about my uncle he would start to initiate more contact with me. He hasn't sent me b-day cards in a few years. Today I got one in the mail and I don't know if I want to open it or not. I can't stand those cards that are all mushy. Full of how much he loves me, blah, blah, blah. He blew it a long time ago and proved a few years back that he still can't be in touch with his feelings or understand mine. The cards just seem so false to me.
So, I sit here wondering what to do with the card. Do I open it and get pissed at him for sending it but get a chance to make sure there is nothing written inside that I might be interested in. There are just a couple of relatives that I care about.
Do I just toss it out without opening it? Do I bring it to therapy and have Pam open it or I can open it there?
I'm pretty sure that I can't open it while I'm alone. Just know it is from him has upset me and I hate that. I hate that he can still get to me and cause a reaction. For someone who hasn't been a part of my for a very long time, why the hell does he have such an affect on my life?
Why can't I let go of these feelings and not let him get to me? He shouldn't have this much control over me. He didn't give a damn back then and I've gotten to where I am today without him being a part of my life - why can't I go on and not let him get to me? Why does it hit me so hard whenever he enters into my life - in his own way?