Sunday, June 27, 2004

What's been happening

First an update on what is happening with my sister:
Not a lot these days. They finally got around to filing the paper work in Probate Court last week. It can take up to 6 weeks for the whole process to take place. I can't wait for this to be over. You know they put this off on purpose. I wonder is she is going to have to re-apply for her loan because they took to long to apply. I'm sure if she does, she will drag her feet on that also. I won't put up with it. I'll wait the appropriate amount of time and call Probate Court. When I find out the paper work has been complete, I will let my lawyer know so he can call the Credit Union or the Bitch's lawyer.

Maggie (my friend from NJ) says she is doing okay. She hasn't been sick the past few days which is a good sign but that doesn't mean she is well on her way to getting better yet. She sees the doctor tomorrow and she'll know better what is going on. She is also taking her 22 yr. old daughter with her. Her daughter has been sick for a little over 2 weeks with symptoms that could be the on set of Lupus but didn't tell anyone right away. She needs to be tested and since she wouldn't go to the doctor on her own, she is being dragged if she likes it or not. I don't know how long it will take to get the lab test back but it's like sitting on pins and needles waiting for all the results to come back and they aren't even mine.

Cami's partner, Michele, is home from the hospital and getting some much needed rest. She has Ovarian and Uterine Cancer. A CT scan has shown it has not spread to any other organs of her body. They get the full report the beginning of this week and she will start Chemo on Thursday or Friday. Since the cancer is very agressive and they couldn't get it all out, I'm sure they are going to be agressive about treating it. They have a long, rough road ahead of them.

My cousin's little girl (who I don't know), has had a tumor on her brain, that is inoperable and they never expected her to live this long.
She recently had surgery and then developed a UTI. The infection has taken over her body according to the last journal entry my cousin has made. I feel bad for my cousin's little girl but these people are like strangers to me. What I am trying to do for right now, is brace myself for a call from someone in my family to tell me she has passed away. It's the only time anyone seems to call me. They can't seem to find the time to call with any type of good news.

As for me, yup even some news about me. In a couple of weeks I'm going to attempt switching from Seroquel to Abilify. Abilify is suppose to, in most cases, make it easier to lose weight. It also is normally taken only once a day. That will be a help. My pdoc won't allow me to start the switch while my therapist is on vacation, that means I have to wait until after July 7th. I've waited this long, I guess a couple of more weeks won't hurt.

I also had a number of blood test done on Saturday. Besides the normal blood work my pdoc does, I had him order labs for my thyroid and cholesteral. I figure in a couple of weeks I'll get a call from my PCP tell me my cholesteral is still high. I haven't been watching what I eat at all. I doesn't seem to matter as far as my weight is concerned, I still gain or lose according to what my body decides. I have started to feel a little more tired lately and my cycles have gotten a little off again so I'll be interested in knowing if my thyroid is functioning okay.

I'm not worried. At this point I'm just taking it one day at a time. I need to lose weight and after the med change, I will attempt to try to stop smoking again. I will have to talk to my PCP about the best way to deal with the anxiety.

That's it for now. I think that is more then enough.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Friends and their pain

I'm not even sure how to really start this. I want to sit here and cry right now after reading an email from a friend.
I have one friend who has Lupus and a growth on her bad Kidney which is being treated with low dose Chemo. They increased the Chemo dose because her blood work didn't come back as good as they hoped. If the med doesn't work, they will have to try and get her strong enough for surgery. Right now she is to weak to make it through surgery. So, I wonder what will happen, if the medication doesn't work and she isn't strong enough to make it through surgery.
This person is an angel. No matter how sick she is and has been from her Lupus, she is always willing to help others. I can't stand to see her this sick and being so far away, there is nothing that I can do to help her out.

I have another friend, who's SO had a hysteroctomey (sp) yesterday. They found cancer and had to remove two lymph nodes and couldn't get all the cancer. They will know more when all the test come back as to where the cancer started and how far it may have spread. My friend is an angel and though I haven't met her SO, I know she must be a very special person to be in my friends life.

Prayers are needed for these people. They are very special and we want them to pull through whatever G*D's plan is.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Monday Morning

It's Monday and I have the day off. I had originally planned to take the day for myself but instead I will be heading down to Willimantic and going to the Probate Court to find out what is exactly going on with all the property stuff. I did find out on Friday that the paper work was recently filed but they were too busy to give me any more information. I will get there early and get in and out as fast as possible.

Maggie and Cami came up on Friday and left on Saturday. Maggie was feeling good on Friday and we had a blast. We talked and joked and even took a walk. I am glad that she had the one good day. I am thankful that she has good days. On Saturday she woke up sick and they left for home earlier then they originally planned. It was hard seeing her so sick and not being able to do anything for her. I guess the only good thing about her being sick here was her son didn't have to see her be sick this one time. He didn't have to worry all day about his mommy. Her son has the heart of a saint. It is many sizes bigger then it should be for a kid of 8. He is so in touch with feelings and how things in life will affect others. He is such a special kid.
Originally Maggie told me she had a tumor on her liver but it is actually on her Kidney - the bad one at that. Being on a low dose chemo pill really does knock her down and makes it hard for her to eat and keep anything in. She has a feeling she will be going in the hospital for a couple of days since she is having such a hard time keeping anything down.

I will update after I get back from Probate Court with what I find out. I am sure the process will take a while, especially since it was recently filed. This is something that should have been done over a year ago and wouldn't have had an effect my sister buying out my half of the property.

ONCE again I have made it down to Willimantic and back without running into anyone I didn't want to see. So, Maggie, you can get off my shoulder for a little while. Carrying all that extra weight (and I know you're not heavy, is making my back hurt more).

Here's what I know so far, the clerk at the Probate Office didn't have the file handy but will get in touch with me when she locates it. It could have been in the pile the other clerk was working on and she wasn't in yet.

This had to be filed through the state since my Mother received state aid while she was in the Nursing Home. They will need to do a search to see if there is any property or accounts in my Mother's name that we don't know about. Since my Mother had life use, she was actually partial owner of the property and with that status on the deed, the property can not be sold.

There was a Title Search done on May 10th.
There was nothing in the computer that the paper work had been entered, so they haven't started to deal with it yet. The clerk might even call my sister's attorney to find out what is going on. Won't that ruffle some feathers?!??!

That's pretty much the story. So, it really is just a matter of time for the paper work to be processed. There is also some filing fee that has to be paid. I didn't ask how much because I'm not paying it but I'm sure my sister isn't going to be happy. Oh well.

Friday, June 04, 2004

It's been awhile

I just finished chatted with a good friend friend of mine. About 3 weeks ago her nephew, who was one day shy of his 30th birthday passed away from a lethal combination of medication and drinking. He went out to celebrate his b-day with his buddies. It was the first time he was on medication. I don't know yet exactly what he was one and I have no idea how much he drank but the world is now short one caring and loving person. He left behind a 3 year old daughter. How is she going to understand what happened?
This was a real eye opener to me. 2 1/2 years ago, I was drinking way more then I should have been, every day for a month and a half. The way I see it, I am lucky to be alive today. All I know is there must have been something bigger then me out there looking after me. I was so depressed that I didn't care about living at all. I actually thought everyone would have been better off without me. When push came to shove I ended up in the hospital and 1 1/2 weeks later I was home and doing a lot better.

My friend also just told me that she has a spot on her liver that needs to be removed. She tells me not to worry but, she knows that is exactly what I will do. She will be coming up next week if she is able to find someone to watch her son. She wants to see me before she has surgery and I want to see her also. She has been through a lot in her life. She also has Lupus which doesn't help at all. I am praying that she will be okay and I am asking, that if you are reading this that you also say a pray for her. Though is often doesn't feel well, she will do everything she can to help someone in need. She has instilled this value in her children. Her son who is about 8 (I think) is collecting used books, toys and clothes for children, for a charity in the South Bronx. She has passed that warm, loving heart onto her son.

Things in my life are going okay. Robert and I have been talking and though we aren't seeing each other as much as I would like, I'm learning a lot about myself these days. I have started reading about spirituality and learning to love myself.
I am still waiting for things with my sister to be completed. Some things never change. Though, the Credit Union is waiting on things to get moving in Probate Court before they set a closing date. I would like this to be completed since I have the retainer for the lawyer on my credit card.
When I talked with my lawyer the other day, he explained to me that in some towns, the only hold Probate Court one or two days a week so it could take some time for this to actual get to the court.