Friday, January 14, 2005

I will be sending a Letter

I saw my therapist last night and she is not discouraging me about sending the letter to my aunt. All she is asking is, I wait a couple of weeks to make sure I'm stable after having a hard time. She doesn't want this to toss me right back where I was and I can't argue with her. I also need to talk to Robert and let him know what I'll be doing. I'm not sure he'll understand my need but I feel he needs to know because there is the possibility of all sorts of emotions going on around this. It's not nice to spring emotions on him, if I know they might be coming.

I have a number of choices on what to send. I have the letter I wrote just this week, full of anger, I have the one I sent the Bastard almost 2 years ago. I could send both of these or I could send the one I sent the Bastard with a different letter with it. These 2 weeks will also give me time to figure this out.

In a perfect world, I would be able to confront the Bastard in person. I can't do that without picturing myself turning into that scared little girl. Pam things I could do it. If it were something I was going to do, it would have to be done with professionals around. For now, I am taking the safe way.
I know what I really want is for him to admit to me, what he really did and I'm sure I will never get that. But, telling his wife will at least make him admit that he did (unless he dances around it). I don't know how she'll react, and personally, that isn't my problem. If anyone calls me, I don't have to talk to them. I know it's a possibility and I'll deal with it, if it happens. Pam and I have time to talk about it.

That's the latest. I will let you know what I decide.

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