Becky is down this week and we have been keeping busy. Of course my shop-a-holic has been shopping. She has finally found an Easter outfit that she can also wear to mulitple functions so she is happy. And I'm happy because we don't have to go from store to store looking for something for her to wear.
Monday we went to the Aquarium at Fort Fisher. It's been years since either of us have been to an Aquarium. We had fun and we say many types of fish and other water creatures. I'll add some picutres to a later post since I'm going to have to decide which ones I want to use.
Tuesday we didn't do much. We attempted to find the Bird Sanctuary in town but we couldn't locate it, so we just ended up taking a ride since I had a doctors appt. at 2. I was suppose to Tutor but my Student called and he had to work late. This of course excited Becky since that meant we could go shopping earlier.
Also on Tuesday, Becky's ex-boyfriend called, they talk all the time, and his grandfather passed away. When I got her up on Wednesday, she was talking about going to Florida to be with him. He had told her Tuesday night, that he wished she was there. She was determined to go and be with him and she didn't know what to do since I wasn't happy that she was willing to just up and leave. She called and talked to her brother Jay and he told her, if she felt that strongly about him that she should go. That didn't make me any happier.
She of course still needed to find out what her ex wanted. I decided it was a good time to go out and get gas and run a couple of errands when he called her back.
Well, to make a long story short, he told her not to bother coming down because he was going to be busy. Not with funeral plans mind you because they were going to cremate his grandfather and they weren't holding any type of service. But he was going to be out doing things.
That made me happy but for a while there, I wasn't very happy - I was ready to call my T to see if she had any openings.
Disaster avoided. We then finished getting ready and went out to a very small winery - and I mean small. And after that we went to the beach. We must have stayed there a little over an hour.
We came back home, had something to eat and Becky went shopping. Yup, she can find her way into Wilmington in order to get to JCPenney and the small mall.
Today, we will take a ride to the beach. I need to be home for a Dentist appt at 4 and we'll decide what we want to do afterwards.
On Friday we are going to take the Ferry to Southport. We could actually get there faster by driving but the fun of it all is going over in the Ferry. I have no appts so we have the whole.
On Saturday, she doesn't leave until around 4:30. In the morning we are going to take a Hollywood walking tour and she will get to see where they film 'One Tree Hill'.
I think I will sleep when I return from dropping her off at the airport.
Sunday, I will need to go grocery shopping which now becomes somewhat easier but still a chore I hate. I went to see the nutritionist this week and she help me put together meals for the week. Now I need to make sure I have everything I need to make those meals.
Another update after Becky goes home and I've rested.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
You Aren't Here
Well, Robert called this morning and the phone call turned quickly into an arguement. I guess the only good thing was, he didn't get off the phone immediately and that was the only good thing
The conversation started off normally but quickly took a turn for the worse. He asked me if I was set up wireless. He knows the answer but of course he needs to ask. I told him I was and he asked if it was hard to set up. I said I had some problems. I asked him why he was interested.
This is his first mistake: he replied, he didn't want to talk about it. Why would that be something he wouldn't want to talk about. I said to him, why did he even bring it up if he wasn't going to talk about it. We went back and forth for a bit and he finally said, that his brother was going to help him set his laptop up as wireless over at his house. So I was like, what was the big deal.
I said to him before he answered - so I guess that means you don't plan on moving soon.
He of course replied there is something wrong with your thinking. I said no, that is my automatic reaction. He tried to tell me I was being defensive. I said, no just telling you what happens
I said to him, it's not even about this question, it's something that you do often. I have explained to you often, what works best for me to keep me stable and not get me upset but you still do things your way. That is the real point. I once again said to him, it has taken me many years to figure out what works best for me.
And my favorite line: I never called to get in an arguement. If he is in a good mood, he doesn't want to cloud that with anything that isn't positive. I told him if I have something to say, I'm not going to hold back. I need to say what is on my mind, that it isn't good for me to hold things in. He of course told me that I didn't have respect for HIS feelings.
I told him, that the only time we have to talk is over the phone. That if I have something to say, that I will say it. You are NOT here and I don't know when the next time is that we are going to talk for more than 5 minutes. If you were here we could always put it off for a couple of hours or the next day. He did say something along the lines that he should have put this off until later. I told him he could have done that.
And my health issues. He finally asked about my doctors appt. that I had on Wednesday. I wasn't going to bring it up until he asked. He hurt his shoulder at work last week and I've been asking him about it - I figured the least he could was ask me about my appt.
So, I tell him that my BP dropping is a symptom of either my Blood Sugar or Thryoid not being right. That my doctor changed the dosage of my Synthroid and I need to keep track of things.
He must of asked me to repeat things 3 or 4 times. Bugs the hell out of me when he does that
He doesn't think my doctors here know what they are doing. I keep telling him that I have a handle on my medical stuff. He said he is entiltled to his opinion and I said he does. I also told him that even though I tell him what is going on, he is NOT here to see what happens, to see how I feel. It is not the same hearing about and seeing it. That my doctor is doing what has to be done.
One thing he will NOT get involved with is my medical - I have always been on top of that, I know what I'm doing and I don't need him to tell me what I should be doing, especially when he isn't HERE to know exactly what is going on
He also thinks I should be able to get off my psych meds. I would like to be able to do that too but I know it's not reality. Cut back on them maybe but I will never get off of them.
After all the time I have spent explaining to him about my automatic reactions and what works best for me - he still does things his own way and then doesn't understand why I get upset
He listens to what I say but does not take it in and try to apply it
He tells me, he thinks I like to start arguements. Which I don't. But if he would listen to what I say, if he would be willing to talk things out, if he would finally move his ass down here, things would be different. I told him there are still things we need to talk about
He tells me I don't respect his feelings. I do, when I know what they are. I don't have empathy for a lot of his feelings. He is the one who has made the decisions that have been made. He is the one who has decided he still needs to be in Hartford. So, if this is hard on him, it is his choices that has him there. Hard or not on him, I don't think he has respected my feelings for a long time and he is slowly finding out that I am going to start speaking up more and more
When he tells me that how I react or what I'm feeling is wrong - there can't be any respect.
I don't think he has a clue that the longer he puts things off, the more independent I become. The more I'm not sure I want him to be here. There are trust issues at least on my side and they need to be addressed before anything can be worked out but, he doesn't seem to think we have these issues
He actually said to me, that one of us is not communicating properly and we should have a third party present. What a novel idea!
But, I'm sure he would not like my idea and that is for him to go to therapy with me. I'm sure he will say that my therapist is no good. That she doesn't know what she is doing. But, guess what, it is either her or no one. She is a professional and she would listen to both sides and let us know what is going on
Of course the chances of this happening are slim to none because he would actually have to take time of work, which he would need to do in order to come down and go with me.
Oh, I would love to be able to discuss some of this with him in therapy. Like, what works best for me that he doesn't follow. What he doesn't realize, though I probably have told him is, that I tell my therapist both sides of the story. It's not just one sided.
So, she knows what I've said to him and what he has said to me and what are reactions have been. I don't sugar coat it. So, he wouldn't be able to get away with anything
Thing1 called me a little while ago, probably to find out if I was okay. But who knows. I choose to ignore the phone and not answer. I was not in a spot to talk with him. Not right now and maybe not until later today. I wonder how he will feel when it happens to him. He has done this to me many times. Where he has told me, he thought I needed some time. Well, this time, I am taking that time, just because I don't feel like talking with him. I am too pissed at him right now
And so - He isn't here and he doesn't know how things really are! I hope me telling him that hit some nerve in him but I doubt it.
The conversation started off normally but quickly took a turn for the worse. He asked me if I was set up wireless. He knows the answer but of course he needs to ask. I told him I was and he asked if it was hard to set up. I said I had some problems. I asked him why he was interested.
This is his first mistake: he replied, he didn't want to talk about it. Why would that be something he wouldn't want to talk about. I said to him, why did he even bring it up if he wasn't going to talk about it. We went back and forth for a bit and he finally said, that his brother was going to help him set his laptop up as wireless over at his house. So I was like, what was the big deal.
I said to him before he answered - so I guess that means you don't plan on moving soon.
He of course replied there is something wrong with your thinking. I said no, that is my automatic reaction. He tried to tell me I was being defensive. I said, no just telling you what happens
I said to him, it's not even about this question, it's something that you do often. I have explained to you often, what works best for me to keep me stable and not get me upset but you still do things your way. That is the real point. I once again said to him, it has taken me many years to figure out what works best for me.
And my favorite line: I never called to get in an arguement. If he is in a good mood, he doesn't want to cloud that with anything that isn't positive. I told him if I have something to say, I'm not going to hold back. I need to say what is on my mind, that it isn't good for me to hold things in. He of course told me that I didn't have respect for HIS feelings.
I told him, that the only time we have to talk is over the phone. That if I have something to say, that I will say it. You are NOT here and I don't know when the next time is that we are going to talk for more than 5 minutes. If you were here we could always put it off for a couple of hours or the next day. He did say something along the lines that he should have put this off until later. I told him he could have done that.
And my health issues. He finally asked about my doctors appt. that I had on Wednesday. I wasn't going to bring it up until he asked. He hurt his shoulder at work last week and I've been asking him about it - I figured the least he could was ask me about my appt.
So, I tell him that my BP dropping is a symptom of either my Blood Sugar or Thryoid not being right. That my doctor changed the dosage of my Synthroid and I need to keep track of things.
He must of asked me to repeat things 3 or 4 times. Bugs the hell out of me when he does that
He doesn't think my doctors here know what they are doing. I keep telling him that I have a handle on my medical stuff. He said he is entiltled to his opinion and I said he does. I also told him that even though I tell him what is going on, he is NOT here to see what happens, to see how I feel. It is not the same hearing about and seeing it. That my doctor is doing what has to be done.
One thing he will NOT get involved with is my medical - I have always been on top of that, I know what I'm doing and I don't need him to tell me what I should be doing, especially when he isn't HERE to know exactly what is going on
He also thinks I should be able to get off my psych meds. I would like to be able to do that too but I know it's not reality. Cut back on them maybe but I will never get off of them.
After all the time I have spent explaining to him about my automatic reactions and what works best for me - he still does things his own way and then doesn't understand why I get upset
He listens to what I say but does not take it in and try to apply it
He tells me, he thinks I like to start arguements. Which I don't. But if he would listen to what I say, if he would be willing to talk things out, if he would finally move his ass down here, things would be different. I told him there are still things we need to talk about
He tells me I don't respect his feelings. I do, when I know what they are. I don't have empathy for a lot of his feelings. He is the one who has made the decisions that have been made. He is the one who has decided he still needs to be in Hartford. So, if this is hard on him, it is his choices that has him there. Hard or not on him, I don't think he has respected my feelings for a long time and he is slowly finding out that I am going to start speaking up more and more
When he tells me that how I react or what I'm feeling is wrong - there can't be any respect.
I don't think he has a clue that the longer he puts things off, the more independent I become. The more I'm not sure I want him to be here. There are trust issues at least on my side and they need to be addressed before anything can be worked out but, he doesn't seem to think we have these issues
He actually said to me, that one of us is not communicating properly and we should have a third party present. What a novel idea!
But, I'm sure he would not like my idea and that is for him to go to therapy with me. I'm sure he will say that my therapist is no good. That she doesn't know what she is doing. But, guess what, it is either her or no one. She is a professional and she would listen to both sides and let us know what is going on
Of course the chances of this happening are slim to none because he would actually have to take time of work, which he would need to do in order to come down and go with me.
Oh, I would love to be able to discuss some of this with him in therapy. Like, what works best for me that he doesn't follow. What he doesn't realize, though I probably have told him is, that I tell my therapist both sides of the story. It's not just one sided.
So, she knows what I've said to him and what he has said to me and what are reactions have been. I don't sugar coat it. So, he wouldn't be able to get away with anything
Thing1 called me a little while ago, probably to find out if I was okay. But who knows. I choose to ignore the phone and not answer. I was not in a spot to talk with him. Not right now and maybe not until later today. I wonder how he will feel when it happens to him. He has done this to me many times. Where he has told me, he thought I needed some time. Well, this time, I am taking that time, just because I don't feel like talking with him. I am too pissed at him right now
And so - He isn't here and he doesn't know how things really are! I hope me telling him that hit some nerve in him but I doubt it.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Another Shooting
There was another shooting today. This one in West Palm Beach Fl, at a Wendy's.
People died and the shooter killed himself and many were injured. What is this world coming to when we have these mass shootings every time we turn around.
What is so bad that people go out and shoot up a room full of people that they don't even know.
If you happen to read the boards on the news sites, it amazing the comments people make. They try to figure out if the person was on medication, if they stopped their medication. They blame it on the NRA, they blame it on the President. I could go on and on.
And of course, they just toss comments back and forth at each other and insult each other.
And every once in a while you will actually see a comment where the poster shows compassion toward the victims and their families.
These people don't seem to care that life can be cut short at any time and instead of fighting with each other on the boards they should be trying to do something more positive and writing to someone who can try to do something to fix the problem.
I don't have the answers but I know fighting with each other isn't it!
People died and the shooter killed himself and many were injured. What is this world coming to when we have these mass shootings every time we turn around.
What is so bad that people go out and shoot up a room full of people that they don't even know.
If you happen to read the boards on the news sites, it amazing the comments people make. They try to figure out if the person was on medication, if they stopped their medication. They blame it on the NRA, they blame it on the President. I could go on and on.
And of course, they just toss comments back and forth at each other and insult each other.
And every once in a while you will actually see a comment where the poster shows compassion toward the victims and their families.
These people don't seem to care that life can be cut short at any time and instead of fighting with each other on the boards they should be trying to do something more positive and writing to someone who can try to do something to fix the problem.
I don't have the answers but I know fighting with each other isn't it!
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Tough Week
Though the week started off very good with the tutoring, it ended on a somewhat sad note.
I am a member of "saferoom", it is a group that I belong to which has been around for about 10 years.
One of the founders of the group, had a condition which caused her a lot of head and neck pain. And probably pain that even went down her spine. I don't remember the name of the condition but the only way to possibly eliminate the pain was to go in a do brain surgery.
She finally decided it was time to go in and have the surgery. She was looking forward to be without pain. The surgery was "text book". But something went wrong and she had breathing problems that became worse. Eventually she was declared "brain dead" and they kept her alive on life support until the family could all get there. They removed the life support on Thursday night and took the organs they could since she was an organ donor.
Her body was creamated. They held a memorial service yesterday. Of course, a lot of people who "knew" her weren't able to attend since she lived in FL. We are now waiting to find out what charity or how best to make a donation.
She was someone who would give you the shirt of her back. Would be there to help you if you needed it. Could get you to talk even if you didn't want to. Make you laugh if you didn't think there was anything in life to laugh about. She was an amazing person. I hadn't been to the chat room in a long time and I am learning more about who she was.
She was so young to lose her life, only 43. She leaves behind to daughters and her husband.
It's just one more thing in life that makes you realize how important your "family" (however you define it) and friends are in your life. Don't lose site of that.
She will live on in the hearts of so many, so she is not really gone but, it is not the same.
I am a member of "saferoom", it is a group that I belong to which has been around for about 10 years.
One of the founders of the group, had a condition which caused her a lot of head and neck pain. And probably pain that even went down her spine. I don't remember the name of the condition but the only way to possibly eliminate the pain was to go in a do brain surgery.
She finally decided it was time to go in and have the surgery. She was looking forward to be without pain. The surgery was "text book". But something went wrong and she had breathing problems that became worse. Eventually she was declared "brain dead" and they kept her alive on life support until the family could all get there. They removed the life support on Thursday night and took the organs they could since she was an organ donor.
Her body was creamated. They held a memorial service yesterday. Of course, a lot of people who "knew" her weren't able to attend since she lived in FL. We are now waiting to find out what charity or how best to make a donation.
She was someone who would give you the shirt of her back. Would be there to help you if you needed it. Could get you to talk even if you didn't want to. Make you laugh if you didn't think there was anything in life to laugh about. She was an amazing person. I hadn't been to the chat room in a long time and I am learning more about who she was.
She was so young to lose her life, only 43. She leaves behind to daughters and her husband.
It's just one more thing in life that makes you realize how important your "family" (however you define it) and friends are in your life. Don't lose site of that.
She will live on in the hearts of so many, so she is not really gone but, it is not the same.
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