What I realized tonight

I was making some notes befoe therapy tonight and realized that despite or because of all the crap that has happened in my life, I'm who I am today. I am most likely a much stronger person then I would ever have been if I didn't need to go through this healing process. Not that I wish this upon anyone but throughout the years I have struggled to rebuild my life and I can honestly say that I am happy for the first time in I don't know how long. I am in love with a very caring and understanding guy. I think I am really in love for the very first time - this feels so much different then when I was married the first time and thought I was in love. I probably was in love, just in a different way.

It is so different to have a connection with someone, to be able to talk to someone about anything, to know that someone really cares about you and is concerned. It's hard to really explain that really good feeling that I have inside - but it's there and I don't want to lose it.