We'll get to the men soon....
It's been a trying couple of weeks for me and they just don't seem to end. There is always something going on which adds more stress and challenges (is this really the right word?) to my life.
They hired someone at work to take over the 'crappy' system that I work on. We were suppose to start documenting it and I was also suppose to start training him on the other system I support but one of the other Team Members has decided to retire at the end of this month. So much for getting rid of the crappy system and the crappy users.
But what the heck, there is an open position and maybe I'll get another shot at working on something else.
I had a D&C on Wednesday and I'm hoping things get just a little better than they are now. Things were on Thursday, I was just tired, as expected. Things took a slight turn downhill on Friday but nothing, according to the take home instructions, out of the ordinary. Well, this nothing better go away soon because I'm darn tired of it. I was told everything went fine with the D&C. They took some biopsies and I see my doctore on the 22nd. Let the waiting begin. We know how good I am at that. hehehe
And then, there is Robert. Who? That's pretty much what I say these days. I haven't seen him in I don't know how long. We hardly talk and when we do, he doesn't understand that there are things I want and need. He just tells me I need to respect what he is doing. My last response was, how about respecting me as a person? When we talked the last time, he was at work and there are certain places where he loses the signal. That happened when we were talking. He called back but I just refused to answer the phone. I didn't know what else to say to him. He thinks/feels I am trying to control him and I'm trying to be the boss. He also tells me I'm stubborn. I will readily admist to being stubborn but a lot of it with Robert is the way he approaches things but as much as I try to explain this to him, all I get is: I am being defensive and I don't do what he tells me.
About 3 weeks ago I gave him a letter to read since talking with him got me no where. The letter had nothing in it that I hadn't told him many, many times.
After we decided that we should spend more time talking, he decided that he needed time alone, drinking (to relax).
Basically, what I've been asking for is for him to spend more time with me, do things with each others friends, talk about and compromise on issues we don't agree on, call me when he says he is coming over and for whatever reason can't make it (there is a reason behind this besides respect and he knows it).
Oh and to do something fun sometimes. It seems that we are always so serious.
I don't believe I am asking for a lot. I have decided I have had enough of his isolation and beer drinking. I left him a voice mail today, that basically said:
'We need to talk. I don't know how long you plan on dealing with things the way you are but I'm not willing to put up with it any more. You expect me to respect how you want to handle things but what about my wants and needs, you appear to have a complete lack of respect for them. I feel like you don't want to be with me. I need to know if you even want to try and make this work because from where I sit, it doesn't feel like you want to.'
I'm sure this will only serve to upset him more. The letter I wrote, he said it was intense, though it was nothing new, or shouldn't have been. He can't keep dragging this out. There has been no support for anything I've been going through and at this point I don't even think I want his support. I have told him mulitiple tmes he is pushing me away by the way he is acting and he tells me that is not what he is trying to do. He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand that the more he stays away and deals with his stuff and I deal with mine, the worse he makes everything.
I personally feel, that putting things in writing made them real for him and he had to really look at them and he according to him, he is trying not to deal with reality.
The question now becomes, how long will it take him to contact me and what type of BS will he try to feed me. I want facts, details and he likes to tell stories behind his answers.
And life goes on...with or without him
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