Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Good News for a Change

It's day 364 of 2003 and I have finally gotten some good news. I received the results of my biopsy today (unfortunately the doctor left a message at my house so I didn't get to talk to him) and everything is OKAY. I'll call him on Friday to find out what is exactly going on. As long as there are no problems, I'm in no rush. I also want to find out if the fibroid is causing any of the pain in my back/hip because if it is, the fibroid is a goner.
If not, it's off to my PCP.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Whatever Happened to Professionals Acting Like Professionals

As you know I received a copy of the appraisal on Monday and it came in lower then expected. I have looked at the appraisal more closely since then and have found there are errors with the report and things missing as far as I am concerned.
I have a copy of the revaluation assesement done by the town and it states the house has 8 rooms. The room count on the appraisal says 4 and where the appraisal breaks down the rooms by floor, the count comes up to 5. Something is fishy.
I also feel there are things that should have been at least commented on since I didn't see a place for them to be indicated anywhere else.
This means, I have to contact my lawyer with this information and I want the appraiser to re-do the appraisal. I want a corrected report and I want it in a timely manner (which of course is a joke).
I am not going to pay to have this one reviewed or pay for my own when the appraiser did a shoddy job to begin with.

For those of you that have been following any of my medical stuff, I received a call from my PCP yesterday. It seems that my TSH level was slightly high back in August when my shrink tested it and it is still high. I will be starting on Synthroid next week. Just what I need another medication. Most likely this is one that I'm going to have to take forever.

I am still waiting on the results of my biopsy. I don't do that well so with any luck, I will get them soon.

The New Year will be here soon and I am bringing into the New Year all of the crap that I am ending the old year with. There's something wrong with that picture.

Monday, December 22, 2003

A mircale of sorts has happened but it was short lived.

The long awaited appraisal has finally arrived. I guess the appraiser does know how to use a fax machine after all. He did not send it as he promised Friday afternoon but this morning.

Anyway, I am not a happy camper. The appraisal came in a lot lower then I thought it would based on some research that I had done. This means I have a few options and it also means that this will take more time. Everything takes more time. The appraisal was done on 11/10 and the report was completed on 11/17. The original appraisal should have been done 2 or 3 months before that.

My options are:
accept this appraisal as is
have my own appraisal done
have another appraiser review this appraisal and explain it to me (this would cost less then
having my own appraisal done), but could result in the appraiser recommending that a new
appraisal be done.

I will not accept this appraisal as it is. I feel the amount is way to low and I don't don't my sisters lawyer or the appraiser. Both of them have acted very unprofessonial.

I think my next best option would be to have another appraiser review the appraisal that I currently have on hand and explain it to me. I also have some questions since I don't feel certain things were taken into account.

I am sure that the inside condition of the house had an affect on the appraisal but according to my lawyer it shouldn't have been that much. What would affect it more would be if the plumbing and electrical have been updated. And as far as I know, it has been. At least most of it. The house was built in 1900 and most of the rooms have been redone.

So, now I have the task of finding an appraiser who works in the Windham area and who works on Saturday so I don't have to take time off from work to review the appraisal. I'll have to explain to them the layout of the house as I know it (who knows what they might have done to it) and what the garage looks like.

That is about it for now. I'm just really pissed about this whole thing. I'm sure that the appraiser was told to take his time doing this and getting it to my lawyer. I wouldn't be surprises if he was also told to come in with a low number.

Family just sucks!!!!!

Friday, December 19, 2003

I have received the name and number of the appraiser from my lawyer's office. The appraiser still has not returned any of the calls from my lawyer's office and they are happy to let me try to contact him. I don't really expect to get any further but it can't hurt to give it a shot.

I located the web site for the appraiser and even though I didn't need to request a new appraisal be done, I filled out the form and put in lots of comments. I made a point of stating that it wasn't a request for an appraisal but to get the report for an appraisal that was already done. Explaining that my lawyer had tried to contact him numerous times and had not received and returned calls. I told him the name of the lawyer that had requested the orignal appraisal and also told him that I felt the time frame that has taken place so far was unreasonable. That I would like to get the appraisal amount and to have the appraisal document either faxed to my lawyer or mailed to myself. I gave them my home email and phone number and also my work email and phone number just in case they contact me before 3:30 today (which I doubt). I thought I would attempt to contact them by email to see if it helps.

They are located in Hebron and if this doesn't seem to do the trick, I will try calling that office directly, though why have an 800 number if you aren't going to respond to the messages that are left on it. I feel that my sister and her lawyer are somehow behind making this take so long. The longer they are able to drag this out, the longer my sister has to put off getting a loan or attempting to get a loan.

That's all for now.
Yesterday. Yes, yesterday was one day that goes down as very painful, physically and emotionally. I went to the GYN for a Vaginal Ultrasound. That by itself isn't so bad. If found it a little uncomfortable but some woman, don't feel anything at all. Then they did a Sonohistograph (or something like that, I can't find the paper I wrote the name on). Basically what they do is put sterile water into the uterus using a long tube. That part doesn't really hurt, it's just comffy. The pain, cramping (bad) comes when they do the ultrasound following that. This is the part I had a major problem with (physical pain and emotional pain). Since they found that the uterine wall was thicker then it should be, my GYN then took a sample of the uterine lining, which didn't hurt any where near as the ultrasound.
By this point I was in tears and having a real hard time. My GYN helped me up and could tell I wasn't doing well. He did ask what was going on and was willing to listen. At that point I just couldn't talk. All I wanted was to get out of there and get some air.

They also found a fibroid in my uterus, which is causing my irregular periods. It is up to me if I have that treated or not. I didn't ask him if it could be causing the pain in my hip and lower back, at the time I couldn't think. I'll call and see what he says. If it is at all possible that is what is causing the pain, then I'll have him remove it, otherwise, I just might leave it alone.

It will be a week to 10 days before they get the results of the biopsy back. So, it's time to sit and wait and we all know I don't do that very well. Most likely there is nothing wrong, but what he is doing is ruling out the bad stuff and I can't help but think there will be something wrong.
I just have to try to get through one day at a time. It's going to be hard, all the waiting.


As far as the appraisal goes, there is still no news. My lawyer's office was suppose to get me the number of the appraiser yesterday but the secretary didn't know where my chart was when I called her back, so my lawyer must have had it. I had asked him in the morning, if I would be out of line to call on my own, and he said no. Maybe he thought twice about it and called again on his own. He knows I'm really upset about all this. I'll call them later today and see what is going on and see if I can get the number.

Once I get the name of the appraiser, I'll list the name of my sisters lawyer and the appraiser's name. I know most of you are not in the area but, if anyone knows of anyone in the Windham area needing a lawyer or an appraiser, I want to make sure that this lawyer and appraiser don't get the business. They are very unprofessional. The best way to hurt them is to make sure they don't get work. My lawyers secretary told me yesterday, that my sisters lawyer did not like the attitude of my lawyer. I don't understand, this has been going on way to long and I don't think she is doing anything. I know she is working for my sister and doing what my sister is telling her. But where is the follow up on what is being done and where is the professionalism that is suppose to be there.

It will be a full year soon that I started this process and I have no more information then when I started. The only thing I do have is a lawyer bill (which I haven't seen yet).
Family really sucks.

The holidays are getting closer, which also means they will be over soon. I can't wait. I need them to be done and over with. Right now, what I really want to do is hide from the world until the holidays are over. That isn't possible, so I must force myself to get out there and pretend that things are okay when they really aren't.

As I get any news, I'll update you all.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

In a few weeks it will be one year since I started the process to have my sister buy out my half of the property which we hold jointly. To date, we are no further along then we were then except, the appraiser says he has done the appraisal. My lawyer said he must be chipping it out of granite because he can't seem to get us the few sheets of paper that the appraisal is printed on.
I wonder if this appraiser knows that fax machines work after normal business hours. We should have had the appraisal in our hands last week but the appraiser seems just as incompetent as the lawyer my sister has.

You would think I would be good at waiting by now, but it doesn't get any easier especially when you know that no one is pushing to get things done except on my end. And that doesn't really count if the other side doesn't do anything.

I am ready to go to the appraisers office and get the appraisal myself if that is what it will take. There is no reason we shouldn't have that in our hands. There is no reason this shouldn't be further along then it is except, that I'm sure my sister has told her lawyer not to push anything. And my sisters lawyer has a "so what's the rush" attitude, according to my lawyer. I am doing everything to keep this out of court which is why we are still sitting around and waiting for things to happen. If we go to court the only ones that win are the lawyers. My lawyer keeps telling me, that court is the last place we want to end up. I agree with him.

So, once again, I'm ready to kill people. How do you get people to do things that they should be doing? What happened to professional curtosey (sp)? I know my sister is behind a good part of the "don't rush things". But, you would think, knowing that court is an option, they wouldn't let things drag out to long.

I can't take the waiting and all the people not doing their job the way that they should. I can't imagine how they make a living when they function like they do.


Thursday is fast approaching and I have to go to the GYN for my ultrasound. I'm not really nervous about the ultrasound itself. What makes me nervous is, they just might find something. I tend to thing the worst. If by change they do find something, he will do a biopsy right then.

My TSH blood test came back slightly high. My GYN faxed the results to my PCP. So, now I'm waiting to see if my PCP is going to call. My GYN said the test should be repeated and a free T4 and T3 should be done. If this is really a problem, it can be corrected with medication. Just what I want to do, take another pill.

Isn't life just grand.
My right hip and sometimes my lower back has been bothering me for months. No time and energy to get that checked out right now. One medical problem at a time. I just can't deal with any more then that. So, when all this stuff with my GYN is done and over with, I'll make an appt. with my PCP to see what is going on with my hip. In the mean time Aleve is my friend.

Stress is what my life is about right now. The holidays will be over soon and I will be glad. I need to get past New Years and some of the stress should subside, then maybe I can go back to working on things in therapy that I was working on before Thanksgiving came around.

If anything new happens (and please don't anyone hold their breath) I will update you.

Sunday, December 07, 2003

Things are pretty stressful for me right now, but when aren't they. I went to the GYN on Friday, not exactly one of my favorite things to do, but I've been having problems and my therapist has been pushing me to go. And, it's something I really needed to do.
Well, in 2 weeks I get to have an ultrasound, which really doesn't thrill me. If they find anything, which he doesn't expect at all, he will do a biopsy. So, even though he is telling me he is sure there is no problem, I get to worry about this for 2 weeks. He needs to rule out any problems before we discuss what to do next. If there are no problems and I can live with what's going on, then he can to. That is something I need to decide. There are a couple of options that I have if everything is okay. I deal with those at the time.

I had to cancel with my daughter this weekend because of the weather and she sounded very disappointed. I felt bad. She wasn't planning on coming next weekend but, we're going to see if we can work something out. Someone is going to have to pick her up on Saturday since she has to babysit for her step-brother and I won't be able to get her home on time.

On Wednesday I meet with my lawyer. We will decide what to do next. I only see 2 options: schedule the appraisal ourselves, send the results to my sisters lawyer the results and give them a time frame for my sister to get a loan or we will go to court. The second option is to go right to court.
I still want to do everything we can to stay out of court and I would think my sister would also want to do that since going to court means she loses the house and would have to move. Going to court also means it will cost more money for this whole process to happen and I have no idea how long the process will take. As far as I know she has no reasonable explaination as to why she isn't doing anything, it's just her being a pain in the ass. She probably figures if she waits long enough I'll give up but, that isn't going to happen. I don't care how miserable I make her life - she never cared how miserable she made my life.

Those of you who know I've been "seeing" Ray - things are on a fast downward spiral. All he wants to talk about sex. He thinks sex is the answer to everything. He feels if he comes over he is entitled to sex, even if I'm not in the mood. He doesn't get that I still have a choice even though we've had sex before. He also has been drinking more and more. I've told him a few times that he drinks too much and he has a problem. He doesn't seem to care. Lately, he gets pissed at me when we talk on the phone and hangs up, he is also usually drunk. As far as I'm concerned he has pushed me away and I've told me but he doesn't get that either. I'm not calling him any more and there really isn't anything for us to talk about. He's not going to get invited over here again.

All this stuff is on top of all the other things I'm suppose to be dealing with in therapy.
I spend a good part of my weekends sleeping when I'm able to since, I'm back to not sleeping during the night. Sleeping during the night lasted about 5 nights.

Things are going to be tough for the next couple of weeks so if you don't see me online it's just because I'm not up to talking much. I'll try to keep this updated as things move on.

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Today is the 1 year anniversay of my Mother's passing. I don't miss my Mother. I don't need to grieve her passing. What I need to grieve is all those things I didn't get in my childhood that I didn't get and can't get back. I can't fill that void in my life no matter how hard I try. No one can replace what was lost.

Moving on, things with my sister haven't changed. Because this is a holiday week, my lawyer says we just have to wait this one out. We are waiting to either get the appraisal or get the appraisers name from the B*tch's lawyer. If we don't have anything by Monday, I'll meet with my lawyer and decide what the next step is.
I guess I really have 2 choices: pay for an appraisal to be done myself (and hope and I can get the money back) or take her to court. I would rather avoid court but I think we will end up there, which doesn't make sense.
If we do the appraisal, they could suddenly turn up theirs and then I will be stuck paying for the one we do. But, it would be better then ending up in court. All I know is, if and when we get the appraisal report, they will be given a deadline to reply.

Friday, October 31, 2003

I looked at my Blog this morning and couldn't believe it's been a whole month since I posted anything. Does that tell you how exciting my life is?

First of all, for those of you who know that I work for Travelers Ins. Company, they did reorgs and layoffs this week. My job is safe and I get to go to work on Monday (I've been on vacation this week). I knew the layoffs were coming and I wasn't worried about my job - there was just too much work to do.

This week on went on a 2 day free cruise with a friend who is a Travel Agent. It was fun even though it rained. I say a bad day on a cruise ship (and high waves, plenty of wind and rain blowing sideways is pretty bad, is still better than a good day at home). So, if any of you want to cruise, let me know and I'll hook you up with an agent. May as well send the business to a friend. We were on the Serenade of the Seas (Royal Caribbean) and we were able to tour all the different suites. I WANT one of those. The only thing I didn't like was the shower in the bathroom. You could barely move in it. On Carnival you basically have a full size shower.

Oh well, I'm home now and back to reality.
No word from my lawyer. I left him a message yesterday afternoon and he hasn't called me back. He has a habit of taking Fridays off so he may not even be in the office today. I called about 8 different appraisers in the Windham area today and left messages to see if they did the appraisal on the property. Now to sit and see who, if any call me back.
I hate this waiting game and I want it over. It's been 4 full weeks since we were told the appraisal was done and we have gotten no information. I'm ready to kill.

Robert is back from Jamaica, he gave me a very quick call last night. He and I need to talk and when he has some time, we'll do that.
A very little know fact is I've been sort of seeing this guy Ray (who re-did my roof). But, I'm not sure if it's what I want or not. I'm not sure where it might go. I can't really figure out if I care about him or just like the fact that he comes over and there is someone here some of the time.
I'm totally confused but what else is new.

It's amazing that I can sleep like a baby for 3 nights while I'm away from home and the first night back I have trouble sleeping again. The conclusion - I guess I need to sleep away from home (preferably (sp) on a cruise ship) all the time. If only that was possible.

That's about it for now. More to come as I know what is going on.

Saturday, September 27, 2003

Hi all. I thought it was time to give an update since I do have some information to tell.

First of all I received a nice surprise at work yesterday. I received a raised, effective 10/1. My boss actually sent me a note and said we could talk about it if I wanted. But he said, that I had been doing good work on both the system I normally work on and the one I get assigned to a lot. The managers of the other system have made a point of telling our Director that I am doing a good job. My boss says this will help in the effort to help get me promoted which is his goal.

Now onto the more "ugly" subject in my life. My sister.
They have finally gotten the appraisal done and are waiting for the paper work. This could take a few days or over a week to get. But it is done. Depending on what the numbers come back as, depends on whether I accept the number or not. I've had enough of waiting and my sister isn't going to get away with doing things the easy way. I'm done playing nice. I've told my attorney that from now on we give them deadlines. I told him that my mental well being is being affected because of this. My attorney and I will need to discuss what will happen if they don't meet those deadline and what will happen if by chance my sister really can't get a loan. All I know, is I won't take payments and I'm not waiting another year to see if she can afford to do it then.
It has been 9 months since I started this process and I don't want it to drag out any longer than it has to.
I'm hoping that the appraisal comes in early next week and we can make some type of decision by the end of the week.
All I know is when my sister gets the appraisal and even before we approve or disapprove of the amount, she should try to get pre-approved for a loan of half the amount, just to see what will happen. She has always says that her credit won't allow her to do this and she can't afford it but, she never knew what the amount was.

That's about all for now. More to come as I find out.

Sunday, August 31, 2003

It's been a while since I've posted but there isn't a lot new happening.

Robert still isn't back from Jamaica. Right now he is waiting for his Mother to let him know when she is going down. He is getting some things done down there before she gets there. I am hoping it will be soon. Even though he knows about my past, I know he doesn't fully understand how him being gone for so long really affects me.
We'll just have to talk about it when he gets back. It's not something to talk about over the phone.

Watching what I eat has paid off, I've lost about 14 pounds so far. With any luck I'll keep losing.

Things with my sister feel like they are moving in reverse. I am still waiting for the appraisal to be done. I'm not sure who is really holding this up. The appraiser or my sister.
Next week I'm going to try to find the time to call a few appraisers and see how long it would take to schedule an independent appraisal. I just need an idea of what is going on. If they tell me they could do it in a few days, I'm calling my lawyer and letting him know.
I'm frustrated and tired of having my sister drag this thing out.

Things have been somewhat tough lately. I'm helping my daughter (giving her a little shove really) in starting to narrow down where she might want to go to college. She is a Junior and needs to get started. It brings up all sorts of feelings since no one was there for me to help me through any of the process of what I wanted to do with my life after High School.

I didn't really want her to come over this weekend - I really just wanted to be alone but I can't let my feelings get in the way of being with her. I will not allow myself to push her away again. It's not fair to her - she hasn't done anything wrong.

Anyone have any ideas on making Binky sleep past 3am - she seems to think that when she wakes up, that she needs to have company. She doesn't need for and she doesn't want to play. She just wants me to be up.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

It seems people want to know what's been happening lately so, it seems like it's time for an update.

Binky is adjusting well to her new home. Walks around like she owns the place, which I suppose she does.
One doesn't really own a cat, the cat owns you. We play nightly games of fetch with her toy mice.
I have found out that she likes to eat Onion Dip. But no one said this cat was normal.

I am sticking to my newly imposed diet but, I'm getting tired of all those fruits and veggies. On the bright side, I've lost about 13 pounds. I just try to get through one day at a time with this because all things I really want to eat, I can't have.

I talked with Robert the other day and he has finally gotten his package. The shipping company screwed up big time. There were a bunch of people in the same situation he was in and I believe some of them are going to sue. He heard the shipping company will have it's doors boarded up down there the first of September. He's in the process of making plans to come back. Hopefully it won't be much longer. I really can't take these long distance relationships.

The latest on what's going on with my sister (and this won't take long). My sisters' lawyer and my sister were suppose to meet with the appraiser last week and then I imagine the appraisal would have taken place. I can't imagine that putting all the information together should take more than a week so, if I don't hear anything by tomorrow I'll call my lawyer on Monday and see if he can get an update. This whole process started a very long 8 months ago and it is no where near over.
My sister is one who needs to be in control and until I threatened her with court, she didn't take any action. Now, it's a waiting game as each step happens at my sisters pace. But as long as she is doing something - all I can do is sit and wait.

I've started to go through all my poetry and fix the typos with the intentions of putting it into a book(s). This isn't an easy job and emotionally it's tough. I'm trying to take my time doing this and haven't figured out yet if I will just make copies for my friends or if I will try to get it published. I guess I will take it one step at a time and see how things go.

There you have it. Everything going on in my life right now. Not real exciting and a lot of waiting for things to happen.

More to come when I have more info ......

Saturday, July 26, 2003

It's been a while since I've posted anything so I thought it was time that I caught you up on the happenings in my life.
This evening there is a new addition to my household. Short, furry, black and 4 legged. I picked up Binky today. She is doing okay but is somewhat scared. She has actually let us pet her, though she hasn't wandered from the family room. Petting her is a good sign. Usually one never gets to see Binky.

I found out this week that my cholesterol and triglycerides are HIGH. I was suppose to be on a low fat diet to begin with but didn't really follow it. Now I also need to watch my carbs and stay away from starches. Doesn't leave one much of anything interesting to eat. I would like to thank my bestest friend for her suggestion - seasonings on cardboard. Now I won't actually try that but if they cut much more out of my diet, I may have to resort to that.

And something most of you probably don't know. I've been seeing this guy Robert, from Jamacia. He had to go back down there about 6 weeks ago. He's waiting for a package to arrive that he had shipped down there before he comes back. It seems the shipping company doesn't know it's right hand from it's left hand. That's being mild. Needless to say it's been a very long 6 weeks so far and I'm still not sure when he'll be back. Talk about long distant relationship being hard.

That's about all for now.

Saturday, July 19, 2003

There isn't anything new on the legal stuff going on with my sister. All I can do is hope they are in the process of getting the appraisal done and we will receive something soon. For now all I can do is sit and wait. That's not easy for me. I don't like not knowing what is going on.

A friend of mine is moving shortly and can't bring her 3 cats with her. I'm going to take one of her cats. The one that is afraid of strangers. She knows me but it will still take her time to get used to the house and me all over again. The other 2 cats will pretty much take to anyone that will feed and pet them.
Anyone out there looking for a couple of cats? Of course you will have to come and get them. :)

Sunday, July 13, 2003

I was out yesterday running errands and I saw this sticker on the back of a truck:
A very wise man once said "I don't know go ask a woman"
I liked it so I thought I would pass it on.


A little bit of good news. I have been asked by a friend to go on a FREE 2 day cruise to nowhere at the end of October - and of course I am going. I will probably drive to Philadelphia since air fare is really high. I will most likely go down the day before and come home the day after the cruise.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

I talked with my lawyer today. He received an update from my sisters' lawyer. Yes, it's a miracle, she actually went and saw a lawyer.
First of all, they need to take care of some estate business. The only thing that I can think of is the money that was left in an account at the nursing home for items that my mother needed. I am sure there is nothing at the house that I would want or that my sister would be willing to give me.

The first thing that is going to happen is, the house/property is going to be appraised. I would like to think this process won't take more than a week. If I haven't heard anything from my lawyer or my sister by the end of July, I'm to contact my lawyer and he will "set a fire" under them to keep things moving.

This is good news because things are actually starting to move along and I do not have to deal with my sister. The lawyers will talk to each other. I'm sure everything will move along much faster this way.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Most of the people I know, already know that I am in a legal "battle" with my sister to buy out my half of the property where she lives. She went to see her lawyer today and though I would like a timely update on what transpired, I'm sure I won't get one. I'm pretty sure she left the lawyers office in a foul mood if the lawyer was upfront with her and told her what she needed to do.
She could have saved herself a lot of hassles, if she would have taken care of this matter back in March as she indicated she would.
The waiting game now begins. I don't know how long it will take for a proposal to be put together and sent to my lawyer but if my sister has her way, it will be a month or so. Only time will tell and if it drags out too long - there is always court. I've already threatened that once and that is when she went and finally obtainded a lawyer.
July 8, 2003
This is my first post in my new blog. At this time there really isn't much to say, I'm just trying to figure out how this works.